Old Promises
by shantel1013
Summary: One call from his old captain was going to change everything. He had made her the promise years ago in the same hospital she was currently in. He had just said it to make a point to her, but now he was going to have to prove to her that he meant it. But maybe it wasn't meant for her to know the whole truth.
1. Chapter 1

He sat at the bar in the kitchen with his laptop in from of him as he kept an eye on his son that was playing in the living room. The nine year old was planted in front of the TV and playing legos so his dad could get some work done. It was a Saturday so he usually didn't work, but this case was requiring some extra time. He was just about to give up for the afternoon, but his phone rang and he knew it was probably his boss wanting to know how far he had gotten.

"This is Agent Stabler." Elliot answered, not even looking at the caller ID.

"Elliot…I'm sorry to bother you." The man said, something hidden in his voice. Elliot knew the voice. He'd recognize it anywhere, and he was surprised to hear it saying his name.

"Yeah Don, what's up? Is everything okay?"

"Have you seen the news today?"

His stomach instantly dropped. He hadn't watched the news since Friday morning before he picked up Eli. He knew this was about her. That's the only reason his old captain would call him. It had to be bad if he felt the need to reach out to him.

"No, I haven't since Friday morning. What's going on? Is it…."

 _He couldn't even say her name._

"Yeah and she's at Mercy Hospital. I'm here on the fifth floor and I'll see you when you get here."

Hanging up the phone, he grabbed Eli's bag and was rushing to get across town. He had taken Eli back to his mom and had tried to explain, but was surprised when Kathy stated she had already seen it on the news.

"Elliot, just tell her how you feel when you see her. Okay?" His ex-wife cried, taking her sleeping son into his old house in Queens.

Their marriage had ended not long after he had left SVU, but he was glad to say it was on good terms. They both agreed staying together wasn't healthy anymore, and the kids were now old enough to understand. Kathy and he shared custody of Eli, and she kept the house. Elliot had gotten a small 2 bedroom apartment back in the city. He liked living there, and it wasn't far from his new job. The FBI had actually approached him about a job, and he finally accepted about 8 months after deciding to leave SVU. He loved his new job and liked working normal hours, but he missed his old one. But sometimes he wondered if he missed the job or just missed his partner. Although he never admitted it to his wife, he knew she suspected how he felt because of the way he acted when he finally left. That was one of the big reason he assumed she had asked for the divorce in the first place.

The next thing he knew, Elliot was waiting in the elevator to get off on the fifth floor.

He knew it was bad if Cragen couldn't tell him over the phone. When he pulled up to the hospital, there were squad cars everywhere. He had seen Fin and a blonde standing in the waiting room when he walked in, but he didn't bother to stop. He wanted to speak to Cragen. He wanted to see her.

He needed to know what was going on. Now.

When the elevator opened, he wasn't surprised to find to guards blocking the doors to the ICU. He walked up, but was surprised when they stopped him.

"No one is allowed through sir." The first man said, blocking the door.

"I'm Agent Stabler, from the FBI. I'm here to see Don Cragen and Olivia Benson." Elliot yelled, flashing his badge.

"I'm sorry sir, but it protocol. We aren't allowed to let anyone through-"

"It's okay guys. Let him through, he's with me." Cragen said, opening the door.

The man moved, and let Elliot follow Cragen through the doors. In the waiting room, there were 4 more men guarding a door, one he assumed was Olivia's. He sat down next to Cragen, afraid of what the man was about to tell him. What if this was it? What if she died and he never got to talk to her again?

"I'm sorry this is the way we have to see each other again." Elliot said, not bothering to make eye contact.

"Yeah, but I'm glad you came El. I was afraid history would repeat itself and we'd never see you again."

"Don… what happened?"

"Olivia was shot late last night. She was working a case and she went in without a vest on. She was shot twice; once in the chest and once in the abdomen. She just got out of surgery about two hours ago, and it was a miracle she even survived that. Right now we're just hoping she wakes up but the doctors aren't sure what will happen. She had to have part of her liver removed and one of her kidneys, and her heart was also injured from the shot to the chest."

"Look Elliot, no one knows I called you. So if you want to leave, that is completely up to you. But I don't think that it's fair to her if you don't do it without saying goodbye. She put on a brave face and dealt with your leaving for years before she was finally okay with it. I came down hard on her about it because I knew if I treated her like she was wounded that she would never get past it. But she did, and she is stronger now because of it." Cragen said, trying to be nice to the man in from of him.

"I couldn't come back Cap and I couldn't come back and face it, knowing what I did to her. She called me and I couldn't even answer the damn phone. She was my best friend, yet I couldn't even tell her the truth because I let my damn pride get in the way."

"I understand wanting to leave that life behind and moving forward. But you and I both know that woman should have been part of that. I knew for years what was going on and didn't separate you two. Sometimes I wonder if that would have been better so maybe I could have prevented her from being so hurt in the end."

"You and I both know that would have never happened."

"Elliot I didn't do this for you. I didn't call you so you could sit here and try to get me to forgive you for hurting her or whatever this is. I'm doing this for Olivia because she deserves more than the way you left. Even if she isn't awake to hear it, I hope its closure for the both of you."

Cragen got up and walked to the door across from the waiting room, looking into the window at the woman he considered family. He wished he could have saved her from all the hurting, but he knew it was possible that she wouldn't walk away from this.

"Go talk to her Elliot. She may not respond, but she's listening. Make sure you tell her what you need to say because this may be your only chance."

He watched as his old detective got up, walked across the waiting room to the door near him and sit down in a chair next to his old partner. They both were praying that Olivia would be listening to whatever her old partner had to say.


	2. Chapter 2

Elliot pulled the chair from the window up next to the bed, trying to be quiet and not disturb the nurse who was working with Olivia. She smiled at him and continued what she was doing as he settled on the opposite side of the bed. He watched as she pushed some kind of medication through her IV and hooked her up to a bag hanging over her before taking her vitals. She didn't seem too alarmed by the readings which gave him comfort she was doing okay for the moment. He had never seen her like this before. She seemed fragile and vulnerable, something he wasn't use to. All he had ever seen was the badass, fearless, unstoppable cop that never let her guard down but for a very few moments they shared throughout their partnership.

 _What about me?_

 _I'm sorry. It was just too complicated._

 _I'm so glad you're back._

 _You're the longest relationship I've ever had with a man._

 _Not if I gave you mine first._

"Um sir?" The nurse said, trying to get Elliot's attention for the second time.

"Yes, sorry. Did you say something?"

"Are you the boyfriend? I know they said you'd probably be stopping in and maybe bringing her son by."

Boyfriend…son….? He knew he probably startled the nurse by the look on his face by her reaction. She probably wondered who the hell he was and how he didn't know anything about the woman lying in front of them.

"Um, no I'm just an old friend. I use to be her partner and I just came by to see how she's doing."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Well we just took the tube out that was helping her breathe. She seems to be doing okay but if you notice she has any discomfort or trouble breathing just hit that red button over here. I also gave her something for pain so she should rest comfortably for a while."

"Okay thank you. I will do that."

A boyfriend? A son? Wow. He wasn't surprised Cragen had left those details out, but it would have been nice to know had the man decided to make an appearance while he was here. But maybe it was someone he knew. I guess he wasn't good enough to earn that information. But in all honesty he didn't deserve to know what was going on in her life. He left her. He ignored her. Yes he had called around and checked in to see how she was randomly, but he didn't even have the balls to talk to her himself. He knew she had been promoted and was now running SVU. He had thought about going to see her a few times but didn't want to cause a scene at work.

He wasn't sure where to start or even what to say really. He had imagined a thousand times what he'd say if he ever had to work with Olivia again or if he had ran into her randomly. But now that he was here and considering the circumstance, he just wasn't sure what to say. What if she could hear him though? This was the time to apologize and make things right.

He sat there for a while, but it didn't seem like it to him. He missed her so much it hurt and even though she wasn't awake to speak to him, just being near her gave him comfort. He shouldn't feel like that, but he guessed that's what happens when you've spent a decade with a person who had saved your life on numerous occasions. Who was he kidding though? It was more than that and he knew it. Hell his ex-wife was able to admit it years before he was. Olivia Benson had saved his life more times than just on the job.

"Hey Liv, it's me Elliot. I know you're probably surprised I'm even here but I had to come see you. Cragen called me and told me what happened. How could you go in without a vest in the first place… You know better than that."

He took her hand, hoping to make her feel like she wasn't alone. He wanted her to know how he felt, but he didn't even know what his feelings were exactly. He always hoped one day they would be able to figure it out. He knew that was probably a small chance, but it was all that kept him going some days. He would remember moments of their partnership and wonder why he ever left. He always thought she deserved more than a divorced man with five kids. She deserved a man who could give her things that maybe he couldn't.

"I know you're with someone and have a baby of our own now. I'm so proud of you for taking Cragen's place at SVU and running that place like you always have. I feel like you're living the life you always wanted and dreamed about. It makes me so happy to know you're a mom because I know you wanted that more than anything. That child is so lucky to have you, and so is his dad."

"Listen Liv, I know you probably can't hear me. But I just had to come see you and say the things I should have said 5 years ago when I left. It wasn't right of me to leave the way I did. When I think back now, it just comes back in flashes and blurs. When I left I didn't just lose you but I also lost a part of myself. How cliché does that sound? But the truth was I loved you and I think that I was just scared to admit it. So instead, I left. But do you know how hard it was for me to let you go? To wonder if she was the one and to know I fucked it all up? But I did it because I wanted you to be happy, even if it wasn't with me."

Elliot looked down at his hand wrapped around hers, trying his best to not let the tears fall from his eyes. He didn't deserve to be upset, and frankly he didn't even deserve to be friends or anything more with Olivia Benson ever again. Never had he felt more selfish than he didn't right now.

"I think I kept convincing myself I would eventually call you or come see you but it just got to the point where I felt like it would be more of a bother to you. I know you love your job but Liv it's not worth losing your life over. I experienced that first hand and it almost killed me. I just wanted to let you know how much I miss you. I think about you every day and wonder about you. You've done so well these last 5 years and I have to wonder if it's better that I'm not around. Olivia Benson, you have to fight now for this life you have. You have a family and a career waiting on you to pull through this. I hope one day we can see each other and things be okay, but until then just know I will always be here for you."

Elliot sat back in his chair, staring at the lifeless body that laid in the bed. He couldn't help but to think this was all a dream, or a nightmare, that he was about to wake up from. Just a few hours ago he was sitting at home with his son and enjoying his Saturday. He wanted her to be okay and he would do anything in his power to help her. He just didn't know if that would even be possible.

After sitting with her in silence for a while, he finally got up to leave. He bent over and grabbed her hand one last time, taking a moment to pray for her. He knew she wasn't religious, but it made him feel better that a higher power was looking over her. He kissed her hand and went to stand up when he felt her hand twitch just a little. He thought maybe he was crazy until she began to stir and moan a little bit. He sat back down quickly, hoping that it would happen again. He stared at her hand for so long that he didn't even notice her eyes begin to open until he heard her voice.

The one he longed to hear for five years.

"El?" Olivia choked, trying to talk.

"Liv…. Hi." Elliot smiled through his blurry eyes.

"Help. It hurts. I can't…."

He suddenly became scared as pain shot across her and her face turned blue as she struggled to breathe. He quickly ran to the door, screaming for anyone to come in and help. He was pushed out of the way as people came in and began to push on her chest. He watched as her body became lifeless again on the bed in front of him. He heard someone yell something to him but nothing even registered in his mind, and he didn't even fight when someone pulled him out into the hallway. He stood there outside her door until they came rushing out of the room with her and back down the hallway toward the elevators.

"Olivia…."


	3. Chapter 3

When she opens her eyes, she is surprised by the number of machines surrounding her. She wasn't sure exactly what day it was, but she wasn't surprised to find Tucker sleeping in a chair beside her. She smiled when she heard him snore lightly, which meant he probably hadn't slept in a few days. He only snored when he was really tired and had been working several days in a row. She hadn't seen him much in the last few weeks because of work, but she was glad he was here. She tried to talk to him, but found it hard to say anything. Her mouth was dry, and she didn't have much of a voice. She didn't want to wake him anyway.

He hadn't noticed she was awake, which gave her a moment to look at the man sitting in front of her. They had been only dating a few short months, but he made her happier than she had been in a long time. She knew he would do anything to protect her or Noah. She remembered the first time he stayed over, and how he spent the night making her feel like the only woman in the world. He was a rough tough cop, but he was a completely different man in the bedroom.

She remembers how much she didn't like him in the past, mostly the times he had gone after her old partner. Elliot had been more of a target for him more than she'd ever been, and she never had the courage to ask why. She didn't think about her old partner as much as she used to. She had finally grieved and moved on, but that didn't mean she didn't miss him. Honestly she was just upset on how he left without even so much as a goodbye. She tried to just not think about him, and it surprised her how easy it had become after a while. After spending over a decade beside each other, she thought she would never get pasted it. But she did, and she was actually thriving since he left.

Wait, Elliot… she remembers him sitting at her bedside. No? There was no way that it could be true. That couldn't have happened. Ed definitely wouldn't have called him and probably wouldn't let him anywhere near her. But what Cragen or Fin had called? Or what if he seen it on the news?

Maybe it was just a dream…. Yeah. That had to be it. Nothing more than that.

"Hey Liv, you're awake." Tucker smiled, getting up to kiss her forehead.

"Noah?" She tried to ask, not being able to get many words out.

"He's with Lucy. He's doing fine. I can call in a bit and ask her to bring him by if you want?"

She smiled and nodded, wanting nothing more than to see her son.

"What happened?" She asked, curious as to how long she'd been out. She knew it couldn't have been too long, but she knew it was more than a few hours.

"Do you want me to get the doctor to explain-?" Ed asked, unsure if he should tell her everything.

"No, just tell me Ed."

He huffed and walked over with a glass of water, holding it for her as she got a drink. He sat the cup back down and sat down on the edge of the bed, taking her hand into his. He kissed the back of her hand and made her smile, which made him smile. He had missed that smile and missed talking to her while they were waiting for her to wake up.

"When you were shot Liv, they brought you in and you had to have surgery because you had taken two shots. One of them was in your chest and it was only muscle that it hit, but the other one was in your abdomen and it hit your kidney. They had to remove it because it was so badly damaged. After you were awake for about a day, your heart stopped and they had to take you bad to surgery because you were bleeding internally. They stabilized you and you've been fine since, but they were worried because you haven't woken up for about two weeks."

"Am I going to be okay then?" Olivia asked, trying not to be scared. She could tell there was something Ed wasn't telling her, which scared her even more. She had to be okay. She had Noah now to take care of.

"They are worried because your other kidney isn't working very well. They have been talking about dialysis maybe or putting you on the transplant list. But we don't know yet so there is no reason to worry, okay?"

She nodded, trying not to get upset. They didn't know anything yet, so she had no reason to worry.

"I'm going to go call Lucy and have her bring up Noah because I know he would love to see his mom. He asks about you every day when I get home. I've only brought him up a couple times cause I didn't want him thinking you wouldn't be okay, ya know? He should believe that everything is going to be okay."

"You've been staying with him?"

"Of course Liv. I love that boy and I didn't even think twice about it when Lucy asked me who would keep him. She's really stepped up and helped me out a lot. You got really lucky with her."

"Yeah I think I got pretty luck with you too."

Ed smiled and kissed Olivia before walking out into the hallway to call Lucy, knowing it wouldn't be a problem for her to bring Noah by. When he hung up the phone, the nurse at the station had come up to him and asked him to sign some consent forms for visitors allowed since Noah and Lucy would be coming up. With the man who shot her still on the loose, very few visitors outside of the squad where allowed to visit. Ed and Fin had made that decision together since he was temporarily running the unit while Liv was gone.

"So if you would just add the names of any visitors that are allowed in that you know of. I know you said her son and nanny would be by today, so you can just write her name down on the visitors list." The nurse explained, handing him the sheet.

He skimmed over the sheet, knowing she had several of her squad members visit her along with Cragen and Alex Cabot. It made him happy that so many people had cared enough to come visit her. However one name stood out to him as soon as he read it.

He didn't know Elliot Stabler had been here, or better yet, who told him she was here?

10 days. It had been 10 days since he left the hospital.

He didn't know if she was alive or dead. He had been watching the new every chance he could while he was at work, but hadn't heard a thing since. The only thing the news had reported was that the bastard that shot Liv was still out on the loose. He considered asking the FBI to get involve, but figured that they would see it as a conflict of interest. He assured himself that if something had happened that someone would call him. Surely Cragen wouldn't keep him out of the loop? He debated just going back by the hospital, but he assumed that would just cause more trouble.

Staring at the case file in front of him, he was dreading going to Quantico this week for his week-long training conference. He was helping lead one of the classes and he was a little nervous. The FBI had approached him and asked them to help with some of the training for new sex crimes detectives and he was hesitant at first. He had never done anything like that, but since he would be there anyway for training of his own, he thought he might as well help out.

He was pulled from his thoughts when his secretary knocked on his door. She smiled and told him her had a visitor, which wasn't uncommon for him to have. He typically had people in and out of his office when he was working on a case. He told her to let them in and continued looking at his file.

He however wasn't expecting his former IAB officer to be standing in his doorway.

When the man cleared his voice, Elliot looked up at the man and was almost taken back by who it was. Out of all the people from his past, never did he expect Tucker to be standing in his office.

"Ed Tucker, is there something I can help you with? Isn't FBI out of your jurisdiction?" Elliot huffed, having no reason to even want to talk to the man standing in front of him.

"Elliot, I'm here on a personal matter. Can we talk?"


End file.
